Pause Part 3

Pause Part 3

So back to our lives- up to this point of getting the final date, we were unable to book holidays/ weekends nothing really- just in case. So pause- pause-pause. We can do “x” when we have the date, “y” when we have the date. Even in work, everything- marketing- training- mail shots, were all working around our “date”. Nigel was 40 last year, and we had planned to make the long trip to Oz & NZ, as we had never visited. But the surgeon said no travel so soon after the operation- just in case-so we’re still on pause!

But then we got the date. Up until that time all my energy had been focused on getting the date, now it was on the countdown. It was actually very nerve racking. Various questions were running around my head keeping me up at night.

Would they survive the operation?

Would Alan reject the kidney?

Would Nigel have long term complications?

These were all very real concerns, luckily I have a very good friend who helped talk me through them as I felt the family had enough of their own fears and doubts.

I took Nigel away for the night to the Maryborough House Hotel a week before the operation. My thinking on it was that if he died on the operating table I would have no regrets about spending more quality time together- yes I can be very melodramatic at times! We had a lovely night and although now I feel that we should have kept it for after the operation to recharge, at the time it was very welcome.

It affected our children too. My son was concerned that all we ever seemed to talk about was the “operation”, we explained to them both what a serious and life changing procedure it was. Luckily they both understood, even Jordan (8) who is the most attached to “Granddad” and was very worried about being apart from two of the most important men in her life. We did try to keep the possible complications from their ears but they definitely felt the undercurrents.

The Day Before dawned. Nigel was going to go up to Beaumont with his Mum and Dad to “check in”. We came to work for a few hours. I felt like every emotion was just building, I was a bundle of nerves. I had arranged to get our dog clipped (normality) and had to leave to bring her for the appointment before Nigel left. It was awful, heart wrenching, words can’t describe the despair I felt.